Babies and Mockery

Apparently, nothing shames a crying kid faster than being mocked by an infant.

Babies Eat Weird Stuff

I walked in the bathroom to find Brontë finishing off my tub of Nivea creme. Thought I was a decent cook, but apparently she’s just not very picky.

Babies and the Humor of Bodily Functions

After a lifetime of pretending no one ever has to poo, I can’t adequately describe the hilarity of watching your pink-cheeked little baby girl in her high chair suddenly drop her spoon, stare off into the distance with widening eyes, and begin to openly grunt as she squeezes out a turd,

Popcorn, Movies, and Trampolines: Kids Live in the Moment

It was just a matter of time before she tripped and flung popcorn all over the room. But somehow, I was compelled to let it all play out.

Babies and Hair

I’m convinced babies like to cling to mommy’s hair like our little chimp ancestors hold onto mommy’s fur when traipsing around the jungle. Removing it might be akin to yanking away an infant’s security blanket.

Babies, or Drunken Midget Frat Boys?

Do I really have a baby, or is there a midget high on PCP running around the house? One minute she’s cuddly and sentimental, the next, raging…. I can almost hear her slurring, “Lemme tell you about the cats,” as she drools before falling flat on her face. Brontë is starting to walk, but she […]

Babies, Glasses, and Other Head Accessories

Brontë thinks glasses are fun. I think they make her look exactly like Ralphie from “A Christmas Story.” Glasses seem to be a pretty common obsession among babies. They like to grab them right off your face and smash them against their own, smearing lenses with tiny fingerprints. It is all part of the larger obsession […]

Found Art on the Way to Dinner

There is a surprising amount of art surrounding you, if you are open to it. My husband and I were going out for sushi when I saw this bear in a tree in the parking lot. I have no idea whether he was casually tossed up there in a fit of anger (imagine a tantrum-throwing child hurling his […]

Babies and Mealtime

I’ve been making one-eyed Jacks for Brontë lately because she loves them, though after breakfast they don’t look so much eaten as scattered by a Special Forces team of Barbies armed with miniature weed whackers. After mentioning this to a few friends, I was surprised to hear “What are one-eyed Jacks?” I explain that it’s […]

Bronte Finds Herself Waist-Deep in Trash

I was running around the house doing errands when I head my baby scream! I instantly dropped whatever I was doing and rushed in to find her stuck in the position: Now in retrospect, I probably should have immediately rescued her instead of grabbing my smart phone to take a photo, but I really wanted to capture […]