Conversations with My Cat: Tables

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I’m not talking to you

Me: GET OFF THE TABLE!

Wylie the Cat: That’s so MEAN.

Violet the Cat: Yeah, you KNOW we love flat things.

Me: I don’t care. It’s dirty. We eat there.

Violet the Cat: How DARE you? I bathe twenty-seven times a day!

Me: Don’t care. I don’t need you guys tracking your litter-paws across the table.

Violet the Cat: Oh, she went there…

Wylie the Cat: Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything but… WE KNOW YOU’VE BEEN PEEING IN THE WATER SUPPLY!

Me: I’m not peeing in the water supply. You guys drink out of the toilet.

Cats: WHATEVER.

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