On Panicking Whenever I Walk Past Her
Me: Violet, you’ve been my cat for over two years now. If I were planning on eating you, I would’ve done it by now. So you don’t need to jump whenever I walk by.
Violet the Cat: That’s exactly what someone who was planning on eating me would say.
On the Sad Look They Just Gave Me
Me: Why are you looking at me like that? And what are you guys whispering about?
Wylie the Cat: It’s just… you were pregnant for such a LONG time and then you only had one single kitten.
Me: That’s normal for humans. We usually only have one.
Violet the Cat (putting her paw on my arm): I’m sure you do. You did great. Good job on the kitten.
Me: Don’t patronize me, Violet.
On Roger’s Gift
Roger walks in carrying a piece of paper in his mouth. He drops it by the door and stares at me.
Roger the Cat: I brought you something.
Me: Thanks Roger. That’s a very nice piece of paper.
Roger the Cat: I hunted it for you. Did you realize that?
Me: I did. Thank you.
Roger the Cat: It was fearsome.
Me: Yes.
Roger the Cat: Well? Don’t just stare at it, eat it!
Me: I can’t eat that. It’s a piece of paper.
Roger the Cat: FINE. I can’t find any mice, okay?
Me: I still can’t eat it, but I appreciate the gesture.
Roger the Cat (stomping out): WHATEVER.
Bubbles and Beebots 
Those are great! We have similar conversations with our three cats, and we make up dialog for them as well.
Kyra the Cat: This is my bed.
Me: It’s all our bed.
Kyra: It’s not the dogs’ bed.
Me: They can be up here. Don’t be so mad.
Kyra: This is my bed.
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Hahaha my cats would totally say that too if we had a dog!
We will eventually also have a dog. I’m waiting for everyone in the house to be potty trained first, lol.
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Yes, since you have young children, there’s no need to get a dog. We have two, and in some ways, it was like having a toddler again. Especially in trying to pay attention if the dogs have done their business, if you know what I mean.
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I know exactly what you mean, haha. I’m not ready to potty train another animal until my 2 year old is past diapers 🙂
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This was such a riot! Oh please please do more of these 😀 😀
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Thanks! 🙂
Will do. My cats have a lot to say and they think everyone should hear about it 🐱🐱🐱
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weave had catz like that. more scared than not. and weave knevvrrr eaten any of ’em !
and the thing about the paper. for us, it’s 1/2 or 1/3-eaten dead mice on the doorstep. nice knowin’ they can provide for us, if things get any worse. and they might.
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Haha, that’s very sweet of them! You know it takes them forever to catch all those 🐱🐱🐱
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some cats, maybe. most of ours are pretty adept, especially when one of our dogs (so far, just one dog is also interested in catching mice) joins them. one day a poor mouse was cornerd, or surrroundid, under a car, with a three cats AND THE DOG around the car. i think it got away. but not that many do (get away).
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LOL I love cat conversations. I talk to my kitties everyday and they are always little bastards with their responses. They do rule the house though. 🙂
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Cats don’t pull punches. They think dogs are a bunch of brown-nosing wimps, I think.
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