Brontë Continues Her Food Mining Operations; Carrots Threaten to Topple John’s Workplace Authority

In related news, my husband just said he is not going to buy another bag of baby carrots at the store tonight because it might give him a fart attack.

The Hungriest 6-Month-Old There Ever Was

Her demands have far outstripped my supply at this point and I have the angry-baby welts, scratches, and bite marks from chin to bellybutton to prove it. It feels like I’m nursing a jackal.

Baby Chicken Progress Report

When the dogs got all riled up and started barking in unison, this rooster would loudly crow. Maybe he was thinking, Hmm, doesn’t seem like sunrise to me, but if the rest of the guys are on board…

Trip to Monterey; My Kids vs. The Army

Do they count as conquering Europeans in this case, or as part of Latin/Catholic history that I, as a descendent of WASP’s, should be reluctant to judge? I’m feeling white guilt confusion. Either way, the natives got a pretty raw deal.

We Have Chickens!

She stares at me, blinking, and probably thinking, “What is this delusional woman telling me? Eggs are white things that come in a carton from the grocery store. These are birds. Well, maybe if I just listen and nod occasionally, she will stop talking this nonsense.”

Cats Will Babysit Your Kids

Cats must seem enormous to our kids. I wonder if they are leaving a primal impression on their developing minds and whether the image of giant feline sentries is lodging itself in their collective unconscious.

Kids Make Messes

A carton of eggs crashed to the floor, smearing yellow goo and shattered shell bits all down the stairs. Mommy runs out to see what happened and throws her arms up in the air as frustration breaks out all over her face. Brontë feels defeated and a slow wail builds deep within, crescendoing into a loud, sobbing scream.

Date Night Unexpectedly Becomes Anti-Vegan Propaganda

To figure out the best way to cheat time, I want to read about the regimens of folks who still look incredible after their contemporaries have started resembling a melted-candle version of their former selves, not the fickle food fads of babies.

Americans Are Too Damn Clean, Part 1; Bronte Continues to Try the Cats’ Patience

It feels like if we work harder to create a clean environment, we should be rewarded with a healthier child. Harder work should equal a better result, yet science supports the theory that a little dirt is good.

Space, Controversial Toys, and Getting Rid of Stuff

It seems that while little boys get games, tools and balls, a lot of girls get equipment involving domestic work. Little kitchen sets and vacuums let them do pretend work to train them for future actual work. Do little boys pretend to vacuum?