Conversations With My Cat: Tigers

You need to step up your game  -Zoë

Violet the Cat: Oooh, ohh… we’ve been wanting to ask you something.

Me: Okay, what?

Zoë the Cat: We think we’ve figured out what you are. You’re a tigress, right? We’re right

Me: Tigress, I like that. But why do you think I’m a tigress?

Violet the Cat: Because you’re really big, you bring back food for the family, and you sit in the water every day.

Zoë the Cat: And we’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Look, we think it’s really cool that you’re not afraid of the water, but…

Violet the Cat: You’re not bringing back any fish.

Me: There aren’t any fish in the bathtub.

Zoë the Cat: Yes there are, or why would you even go in there?

Violet the Cat: We’re not trying to embarrass you, okay? But it’s not good for your kittens to eat cereal all day. They need fish.

Me: Well, where’s YOUR fish? You guys eat nothing but cat cereal every day!

Zoë: AND WHO’S FAULT IS THAT?