Babies and Emotional Experimentation

The first power they figure out is the Power of Refusal, and they will use it again and again until the novelty wears off. Hang in there…

Toddlers and Crying Babies

Brontë is rolling around the dirty ground, kicking and screaming, her cries echoing across floors and floors of parking lot. Every passing motorist must think a child is being tortured somewhere in the garage.

Bronte’s Baby Sister Is Born!

I don’t yet want to go into the specifics of how the baby got there, but I’m figuring some story about a stork delivery isn’t going to fly after mom’s belly obviously just blew up, exploded, and left her bed-bound for a time.

Babies and Croissants; Extracting Chocolate and Cheese

Confronted with pizza, she will quickly strip the melted cheese off every piece and assume the crusts are garnish. She will suck the chocolate off chocolate-covered raisins and spit the raisin pits on the floor. She is very talented at removing all traces of Shake-n-Bake from pork chops without ingesting any actual protein.

The 1970’s Crash Into My Daughter’s Forehead

You want to know how much energy a toddler has? I took my daughter to the park the other day, where she chased a chihuahua until it threw up.

Making Friends on the Playground; A Crash-Course on Social Cues

No matter how many world-class athletes we churn out, our species is never going to get the gold medal for brute strength. The scrawniest, most laughed-out-of-gym-class tiger could shred a clawless human in under five minutes.

Daddies, Babies, and The March Toward Siblings

If I inadvertently drop something, it’s dead to me now. I can’t pick up all the messes Brontë leaves anymore, so clutter is piling up our floors and I try to see around my feet to avoid tripping on it as I waddle back and forth until John comes home and pushes it all aside like one of those ice-smoothing machines at ice skating rinks.

My Cousin Finds a Hilarious Way to Be Obscenely Decent

My favorite part is the variations for different skin tones, to make sure mommas can be properly color matched.

Lessons Learned from Kitten-Rearing

In many ways, I am no different than a momma cat with her kitten (though thankfully, one of the exceptions is my ability to obtain baby wipes).

Pregnancy Pancake Anxiety

Lord, pregnancy hormones are insane… I had gone feral and was about to fight with improvised weapons for a couple of sweet potato fries.