My Ghostbuster Confession

As many of you probably know, there’s a large number of disgruntled guys on the internet who have their panties in a bunch about the new Ghostbusters movie, due to its female cast. These guys seem convinced that letting women play ghostbusters would mean nothing is left in the masculine toolbox: Open your eyes to the Feminazi conspiracy, folks! If people start thinking pretend women […]

Where I Try To Figure Out Why People Hate Cats, Part 2

So after chronicling the failed first part of my quest to figure out why people hate cats, I found myself still pondering the question. It isn’t the idea that some people prefer dogs that baffles me so much as the greater social acceptance of outspoken cat hatred. In other words, why is hating all cats a thing […]

Why the Angry Birds Movie is Like The Walking Dead (Spoilers)

So, today I’m going to explain why the new Angry Birds movie is like The Walking Dead series. Why? Because its fun to try making up legitimate arguments for weird positions, even ones you disagree with (Sometimes you make even better arguments for positions you don’t believe in, because you have to logically think through your ideas rather […]

Three Normal Things Movie and TV Characters Never Do

In case you hadn’t already put this together, I’m a huge fan of movies and television. Give me some good dialogue, a well-crafted plot, and I’m on board… whether it’s Breaking Bad or Gravity Falls. But after watching all of these make-believe little universes, I’ve noticed certain quirky conventions common across all genres. We’re so used to seeing them, we […]

Over The Garden Wall Shows Us How to Escape the Beast

A massive, wolflike beast with crazed glowing eyes chases both children through a wooden cabin in an unknown forest. The screaming children run to the roof, where they find themselves trapped on the edge of a dizzying height with the dark wolf’s breath on their necks. The younger one desperately tosses out a piece of candy and the wolf jumps after it, falling […]

My Baby Is Obsessed With A Potentially Racist Cartoon

My two-year-old daughter Brontë is obsessed with the movie Dumbo. Every morning, it’s the same thing: “Dumbo? she asks, “Watch Dumbo?” I trudge over to the coffee maker in an attempt to slam down some caffeine… “Dumbo?” I fix her a bowl of cereal and cut up some banana slices… “Dumbo?” I get my daughter dressed […]