My Childrens’ Dark Side Emerges

I was always a strange child. When I was seven, I used to cover my drawings with another piece of paper, shaded in black, so you’d have to hold it up to the light to see the images behind it. One was of a beautiful dead woman at the bottom of the sea, draped in […]

Western Faces in the Moon

At some point during my childhood, I read that Chinese people don’t see a man in the moon, like we do. They see a teacup. And for decades now, I’ve been trying to teacup that moon man’s face. I figured I could do it, since I see upside-down nuns in the metal part of the […]

5 Ways I Like To Pretend I’m Filthy Rich

“Gratitude is riches” -Doris Day Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you’re browsing your Facebook feed when you come across a bunch of photos of your friend Alex deep-sea diving in New Zealand. Why look, the whole family is there… all bronzed and smiling. You’re happy for Alex. Really. Because Alex is your buddy […]

Let’s Call A Truce For International Women’s Day!

It’s International Women’s Day, but you’d hardly know it from the way endless arguments about women’s choices keep exploding the internet. In fact, many women are on strike today, which will undoubtedly receive ample criticism in the days to come. Why? Because we keep shaming each other like it’s an Olympic event. Both the left and right accuse recent […]

My Un-Adult Confession

I’m afraid of ghosts, even though I don’t believe in ghosts. To start with, it doesn’t make sense that most ghosts come from the 19th century. Where are all the old guys in Bermuda shorts? You never hear about mundane ghost problems like Uncle Rob eating all the mixed nuts every time you leave the room. […]

Why Mummies are Good At Camping

The other day, my four-year-old daughter abruptly stopped building her Lego princess skyscrapers to stare off into the distance, clearly lost in thought. After a while, she turned to me and said, “You know… mummies would always have toilet paper on them.” I laughed, which was not okay. “That’s NOT funny!” She’s fond of mummies, so maybe […]

The 7 Deadly Holidays

Last week, a friend of mine wished everyone on Facebook a happy Thanksgiving by calling it the “eat whatever you want without feeling guilty” holiday. She’s right, of course. Officially, Thanksgiving is about being grateful, but we all know the main focus is usually on making a ridiculous amount of food then trying to eat as […]

My Kids May Be Turning Into Food Snobs

My four-year-old daughter Brontë’s favorite meal is pesto pasta, which she calls “green pasta.” She’s usually thrilled whenever she finds out we’re having it, but the last couple of times haven’t been up to par. My husband John makes a great pesto sauce using fresh basil leaves, aged parmesan, and toasted pine nuts, but he […]

Murder, Card Catalogues, and Birthdays

It’s been well over a week’s since I’ve posted and high time I wrote something, before I completely lose momentum… We’ve been in the depths of home-buying hell lately, scrambling to compete for limited Sacramento inventory while trying to sell our house to folks who don’t want to risk contingencies. Moving from a lower-demand area to a higher one […]

Are You A City Person or a Suburb Person?

Seven years ago, I lived in a one-bedroom apartment in Midtown Sacramento. I owned six pieces of furniture and all of my clothes and shoes could fit into one of them: a wooden IKEA wardrobe with guitars and fencing sabres piled on top. I could walk to work in thirteen minutes, bike to the grocery store, and […]