Sibling Torture Goes Sci-Fi

Just overheard my 6-year-old daughter convincing her baby sister that I’m actually an android who hides all the wires under my hair. It was truly inspiring. “Bedtime” will henceforth be referred to as “System Update Time.” Every once in a while, I may have to pause, mid-sentence, to stare into space. To keep them on […]

When Household Vermin Demand Catering

My daughter Brontë has a special blue cup we keep in the bathroom for rinsing out her mouth after brushing her teeth. She’s quite attached to it, so I was nervous about what I was about to tell her. Me: Umm… we may need to throw out your blue cup. Brontë: WHAT? WHY? Me: Because […]

Invisible Friends to the Rescue

I was getting the kids into the car the other day, after hanging out a local park, when I discovered a back seatbelt was jammed. It absolutely wouldn’t budge. I thought about how we’re technically allowed to put a kid in the front seat when the back is full before kicking myself again for not […]

Kids, Cats, and Evil Twins

I have a little black & white kitty, named “Violet,” who usually hides under the bed whenever she hears humans stomping around. Her skittishness eventually trained my daughter Brontë to walk softly and approach gently, which made Brontë the only other person Violet doesn’t fear. Delighted with her newfound cat-enchantment skills, Brontë asked me one […]

My Daughter Misgenders the Cat

My four-year-old daughter Bridget’s favorite toy ever is “Catfish,” a stuffed-animal Siamese cat with a fish drawing on its collar. And though she loves him, he’s clearly her fall guy. Messy room, dirty bed, broken toys… she’s been insisting Catfish orchestrated all these petty toddler crimes and more. He’s been so naughty, in fact, we […]

Sibling Rivalry: Bridget, the Dark Horse

I’m sure I speak for many parents when I say my kids love each other, but spend half their time winding each other up. Sometimes it’s about territorial or toy disputes, while others are just for fun… because these kids don’t have jobs. They have way too much time on their hands. As Brontë once […]

Monsters, Tacos, and Dragon Bones

There’s a fine line between fantasy and reality for children. My parents like to recount a story about when I was five and pretending to pass out imaginary coins… my father walked over to playfully spin me around in a circle and I panicked as he lifted me up, squeezing my fists so the “coins” […]

An Unexpected Birthday

So, today was my birthday and the lead up was NOT good. Birthdays, holidays and milestones mean a lot to me. I demand real Christmas trees, that we hopefully have to cut down ourselves, and will stay up all night baking Christmas cookies with the girls because IT’S CHRISTMAS AND THATS WHAT PEOPLE DO. Maybe […]

My Daughter Builds A Candy Pipeline Into Our Backyard

My six-year-old daughter Brontë pretty much never stops talking. “Using her words” has never been one of her stumbling blocks. It’s simultaneously adorable and exhausting. If I’m scrambling to get lunch ready, she’s demanding I go check out the portal she made in the living room. It takes you to a castle, she tells me, […]

Let’s Try This Again…

Argh… after a few months of being super busy and letting the blog slide, I finally started writing again when BAM! Germs snuck up and slapped me down for the count… It’s been a real pain, actually. This year has been a bad year for illness in general and we just moved to a new […]