How to Fry Bananas in Your Panini Press

Whenever my jeans start feeling tight, I make some minor changes so I won’t have to do anything major down the line.

For example, cooking more vegetable sides with dinner.

Also, actually cooking dinner instead of living off pizza and cheeseburgers.

Snacking on as many fruits and vegetables as you can stomach is also effective, since they end up displacing cheese, chocolate and ice cream.

Now, I’ve argued with people about these strategies before. One time, a coworker told me my free carrot stick policy was reckless, since carrots are high on the glycemic index and people will abuse open-ended carrot privileges by eating far too many.

That seemed crazy to me, though. I’m skeptical that anyone, anywhere, has ever gotten fat because of too many carrots. Maybe cows or bunnies, but I have a hard time believing carrot-crazed people could be anything but temporarily orange.

The real problem with carrots, and veggies in general, is their blandness in the absence of fatty add-ons, which makes fruit the more obvious choice for mindless snacking. I’m convinced we digest produce differently, regardless of what their calories may suggest.

At least in my experience. I’ll routinely eat four or five bananas in a row whenever dinner didn’t quite cut it, for instance, a habit that’s never come back to haunt me on the scale.

But, I’ve started getting really tired of bananas. 

So I’ve been trying to get creative lately. I’ll freeze bananas for smoothies. I’ll cut them up, sprinkle with cinnamon, then fry them in spray-oil until they caramelize. Makes them sweeter and “dessert-y.”

It’s worked well, except sautéed bananas tend to get rather soupy. Dredging them in flour before deep-frying them would kinda defeat the purpose, however.

Then one day, I had an epiphany…

A panini press can make awesomely crispy sandwiches without any butter at all. Just a little spray-oil and you’re all set for crunchy goodness. Maybe it could do the same for a banana?

I checked the internet to be sure, but found… nothing.

Really? No one’s tried this?

I decided to turn culinary explorer, to embark on an exciting dietary quest to answer the question…

Can you successfully fry bananas in a panini press?

Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!

And the answer is:

No. No, you can’t.

Well, technically you can, but you’ll end up with burnt banana soup cooked into every last groove of your panini press, hoping and praying your model includes detachable plates.

So, how do you fry a banana with a panini press?

In between two slices of bread. This is the only way.

You’re welcome.